Episode 62 – The Wolf, the Witch and the Large Wardrobe (Part I)
| The Assassins |
Azareth - Wizard 5th Level LE (PC) Craven - Fighter / Rogue 3rd/3rd LE (PC) Creighton - Fighter 5th Level LE (PC) Keldirk - Rogue 6th level NE (PC) |
| Locale | unknown. |
| Date | after 4th Goodmonth 582 CY |
| Time | Late afternoon. |
The assassins ran to the tree line, desperate to get some distance between themselves and the ant nest. By the time they reached the trees they were breathing heavily, surprised with just how exhausted they felt.
| Creighton | Let's rest. I'm stuffed. |
| Craven | (panting) No, let's push on a while longer. There might be ants nearby looking for food. |
| Creighton | We're just as liable to walk into more trouble. The gods know what other critters might live in this place. (looks up and shudders) At least I can't see that cursed red sky any more, it was giving me the creeps. |
| Craven | Just another mile, then we'll camp. But let's take our time and be careful. Azareth, I want you to look for plants and herbs see if you can find anything useful and maybe try to get some idea where we are. |
| Azareth | (nods) I have studied herbalism extensively but despite that there are few plants I cannot recognise. That said, what I can tell at this juncture is that we are in a temperate clime. I believe we are in early spring. If it were not for the sky and our mysterious transportation to this realm, I would say that we are somewhere in Celene. But I will continue my study and let you know. |
| Craven | Well do your best. Creighton, Keldirk, let's keep a lookout ourselves and I think we could all do with some meatier clubs. These oversized roots are a bit too wobbly for my liking. |
| Keldirk | Who died and made you boss? |
| Craven | Someone has to take charge, do you have any problems with my suggestions? |
| Keldirk | (shakes his head) No, just don't get too comfortable in the role. |
| Azareth | Perhaps you should use some foliage to cover your nakedness. |
| Craven | Its not cold and that can wait until we make camp. (smiles) Unless I am making you feel uncomfortable. |
The assassins pressed on in silence. Every now and again Azareth would stop the group and pick around at the base of a tree, examining mushrooms, herbs and lichen. What animals there were in the forest remained hidden.
After two hours walking the assassins made camp. Keldirk, Craven and Creighton had each found more suitable clubs, heftier lengths of wood that would withstand at least a few blows. Azareth had gathered a sizeable collection of plant-life, including several handfuls of berries and fungi which served as dinner for the group.
As night fell the sky turned from the dull red to an equally unsettling purple.
| Azareth | I am sure that we are no longer on Oerth. What few stars there are in this disturbing sky are in patterns unlike any I have seen. Put simply, we could be anywhere. |
| Keldirk | (rolls his eyes) Great. You have a knack for stating the obvious, mage. |
| Creighton | Look. We're all in this together and there's no point in fighting with each other. |
| Craven | Creighton's right. Wherever we are there must be a way to get back to Del Mord. If we work together and stop bickering we'll get to the bottom of this. |
| Keldirk | (waves his hand in surrender) Okay, okay, enough with the inspirational speeches. I get it. (thrusts a fist in the air) Go team. |
| Craven | (chuckles) Good. |
The next day the assassins came across a small stream and then, a little further on, a game trail. The group followed the trail which soon grew into a dirt path and then became a full-scale road. They quickened their pace, eager to get to wherever the road led. They stopped periodically for Keldirk to climb a tree and to survey their surroundings. As before, apart from the road, there were no significant landmarks, even the position of the sun seemed frozen in the sky.
The road was seemingly without end. For days they walked, subsisting on foraged berries, fruits and fungi. On the fifth such day Creighton stopped and slumped against a tree.
| Creighton | This is ridiculous. |
| Azareth | Yes. But what choice do we have to keep following the road. |
| Creighton | We always have a choice. What's stopping us from walking that way? (points into the forest) |
| Craven | Nothing at all. |
| Creighton | Exactly. |
| Azareth | (dumbfounded) What would walking that way achieve save getting us more lost than we are? At least the road is likely to lead somewhere; traipsing through the forest will only get us thoroughly lost. |
| Keldirk | (laughs) That's technically impossible. We're already hopelessly lost. Hell, we don't even know what world we're on! |
| Azareth | Yes, well, you know what I mean. The road must lead somewhere, I suggest we follow it. |
| Craven | (smiles) Azareth's right, Creighton. There's no point in us wandering aimlessly through the trees. Let's keep walking. |
| Creighton | Okay, okay. (shrugs) Anyway, I reckon I've made my point. |
| Keldirk | You had a point? (laughs) Whatever you reckon, genius. |
The assassins continued warily along the foreign road, keeping a careful eye on the thick trees to either side. Before long the road began to climb and curl around a series of rocky hills. Keldirk took the opportunity to climb a particularly tall hill and returned half an hour later, sporting a nasty gash on his cheek.
| Craven | What happened to you? |
| Keldirk | (sheepishly) I don't want to talk about it. |
| Creighton | (chuckles) Fell out of a tree huh? |
| Keldirk | I said I don't want to talk about it. |
| Craven | Alrighty then. What did you see? |
| Keldirk | Forest. And more forest. But I did see a thin column of smoke rising above a hill about two miles away. |
| Creighton | (hopefully) Do we need to leave this infernal road? |
| Keldirk | No. At least, I don't think so. Not yet. (points) As long as the road keeps going in this direction we should walk straight past it. |
| Creighton | (sulks) |
| Craven | Let's go then. |
A little under an hour later the assassins spied Keldirk's column of smoke. A small trail led from the road into the forest and cautiously the group followed its path. The trail opened into a well-manicured yard, complete with white picket fence and flower garden. In the centre of the yard, beside a picture-perfect cobblestone well, stood a quaint, thatched wooden cottage. Without a word, Azareth and Keldirk slid into the forest while Craven (wearing Azareth's pants) and Creighton approached the front door and knocked. After a brief wait the door opened and an elderly woman greeted the pair.
| old lady | Well, well, well, what do we have here then? I don't get many visitors and here I find two handsome young men wearing naught but breeches at my door. |
| Creighton | (chuffed, nudges Craven) Did you hear that? She said I was handsome. |
| Craven | Greetings. I apologise for our appearance and unannounced arrival but we are in need of some assistance. |
| old lady | But of course, where are my manners? Why don't you and your two friends in the forest come inside for some supper. As it happens I have a large pot of soup on the stove. |
At the mention of food Creighton's stomach let out a loud gurgle and the big man had to restrain himself from pushing the old woman aside and running into the kitchen. Craven was a little more restrained and curious as to how the woman knew of Azareth and Keldirk's presence.
| Craven | Thankyou, dear lady. I will return presently with my companions. |
Craven left Creighton on the doorstep and jogged back to where Azareth and Keldirk lay hidden.
| Craven | She knows you two are here. |
| Keldirk | How does she know that? |
| Craven | No idea. But she has invited us all inside for some soup |
| Azareth | Perhaps she was the person who brought us here? |
| Craven | Who knows? |
| Keldirk | If it was her then I have a few choice words to give her. (palms his club menacingly) |
| Craven | No. We can't hurt her. Not yet. Not until we have learned all we can from her. Come on, let's go. |
| Azareth | (coughs) Craven? |
| Craven | Yes? |
| Azareth | My pants? |
Minutes later the four assassins were seated comfortably in the surprisingly large cottage, around a round wooden table. The old lady had given Craven a robe to cover himself for which he was thankful. Creighton set about demolishing the bowl of soup and was ready for his second before Azareth had taken his first mouthful. Keldirk, ever suspicious, pushed his bowl aside and declared that he wasn't hungry.
| old lady | So, what brings you to these neck of the woods? |
| Craven | I was hoping that perhaps you could answer that question for us. |
| old lady | Me? |
| Craven | Yes. You see, we are lost and don't have any idea how we came to be here. This place, this forest, this world is not our own. |
| old lady | Ahh, I see. Yes, I see. Hmm. Understand your plight, Esmerelda does. |
| Creighton | You do? |
| Craven | What do you see? |
| Esmerelda | Travellers you are. Travellers from elsewhere. You're not the first travellers to come knocking on my door. |
| Craven | We're not? |
| Esmerelda | Oh no. Not the first strangers to knock on Esmerelda's door. |
| Craven | Where are the others? The other strangers? Where did they go? |
| Esmerelda | Sent them home, I did. But my oh my it tires me. The spells are long and arduous. It exhausts me, it does. |
| Azareth | You're a magician, then? |
| Esmerelda | I'm a lot of things and I'm called a great deal more. Some names are not very nice names. Unfair, they are. Some people are so unkind. (tastes her soup, but screws up her face and pushes the bowl aside) |
| Craven | Can you send us home? |
| Esmerelda | Send you home? Of course I can. (fetches some bread) But I won't. I'm too sad to work the magics. |
| Craven | Too sad? Why are you sad, dear lady? |
| Esmerelda | Terribly sad. (shakes her head wearily) |
| Creighton | If we cheer you up will you help us? |
| Esmerelda | (wipes a tear from her eye) |
| Creighton | Old lady? |
| Craven | Esmerelda? Can we help you? |
| Esmerelda | What I want, what I need, you cannot give me. |
| Craven | We can try? What is it you need? |
| Esmerelda | I need children. |
| Keldirk | (laughs) Craven, this is your area of expertise. Go for it. We'll wait outside. |
| Creighton | (chuckles) And if I know Craven we won't have to wait long. |
| Craven | (ignores his giggling companions) Esmerelda, what do you mean? You need children? Do you want to have a baby, is that it? |
| Esmerelda | No. Heavens no. My child-bearing days are long behind me. |
| Craven | (breathes out a heavy sigh of relief) |
| Azareth | (leans forward, his face solemn) I think I understand. You miss the sound of children's laughter. That feeling of warmth you get when a child gives you a hug. The smell of freshly cooked biscuits and the cry of a boy who has cut his knee. Am I right? |
| Esmerelda | No. (looks strangely at Azareth) I miss the taste of children in my soup. |
Creighton spat out his mouthful and Keldirk laughed so hard he thought his sides would split. Craven and Azareth just sat in stunned silence as the old lady went about clearing the table. The assassins exchanged glances, not sure how to respond to this strange revelation. It was Keldirk who recovered first.
| Keldirk | So, let me get this straight, we bring you some children so you can cut 'em up and have 'em for dinner. Then, in return, you send the four of us home? Is that the deal? |
| Esmerelda | Oooh yes, that sounds lovely. (rubs her gnarled hands in wicked delight) |
| Keldirk | Consider it a deal. |
| Esmerelda | You'll find the village of Hamlynn ten miles down the road. |
| Craven | We are more than happy to take on this task for you but I was wondering if perhaps you might be able to provide me with some clothes. It would not do well for me to walk into the village dressed as I am. |
| Esmerelda | I have some simple clothing I can give you. (pulls some pants and an old cotton shirt from a wicker basket) Take these and be on your way. (shows the assassins out, calling from her doorstep when they had reached the gate) A boy and a girl, no older than twelve. Bring me the children and I'll send you home. (waves goodbye) |
| Keldirk | (to his fellows) That old hag had better hold up her side of the bargain. Because if she doesn't (slides a finger across his throat) I'll be most upset. |
The assassins left the quaint little cottage, and the wicked old lady, and headed for the village of Hamlynn. Several miles down the road Keldirk called the group to a hold, his face intense. For a few moments they waited as the young assassin listened, turning his head this way and that. Finally he motioned them to the side of the road and into some bushes where he gathered them close.
| Keldirk | Did you hear that? |
| Creighton | Nope. |
| Azareth | (shakes his head) |
| Craven | I thought I heard some whistling. |
| Keldirk | (nods) And singing. Whistling and singing. It's up ahead. |
| Craven | What do you propose? |
| Keldirk | I'll sneak ahead and have a look. |
| Azareth | I am not sure that we should separate at this juncture, under normal circumstances I would agree with you, but here? In this land? I do not consider it wise. |
| Craven | I agree. Let's all go together. If someone is singing and whistling, they're not likely to be laying in wait. |
The assassins returned to the road and proceeded warily. Before long the group rounded a bend and saw seven colourfully dressed dwarves sitting beside the road. The gaudily dressed band sat on a log and, upon seeing the assassins, stopped their jovial singing and whistling. One dwarf slipped off the log and stepped forward.
| dwarf | (scowling) Just great. |
| Craven | Hello there. Lovely day for a walk wouldn't you agree? |
The dwarf didn't respond, instead he turned to his companions and spoke in a strange language comprising of a number of odd squeaks and chirps. When he had finished speaking the other six dwarves burst into fits of laughter.
| Craven | What? |
| dwarf | Nothing. Nothing at all. |
| Creighton | (sizes the seven dwarves up, spying no weapons or armour) |
| Craven | My name is Craven, what's yours? |
| dwarf | Angry. |
| Craven | Your name is Angry or you are feeling angry? |
| dwarf | Yes. |
| dwarf #2 | (plops off the log and steps forward) My name is Notorious. Perhaps you've heard of me? |
| Craven | No. I can't say that I have. |
| Angry | And that's Nasty, Fearless and Cruel. Next to him is Quick and the little fellow on the end with the blue hat is Murderous. |
| Craven | All very impressive sounding names. |
| Angry | What are they called? (indicates the other assassins) |
| Craven | That's Azareth, Creighton and- |
| Keldirk | My name is Deadly. |
| Angry | (to Keldirk) Deadly? That's a nice name. |
| Keldirk | Thanks. Come on guys, let's go. |
| Nasty | Not yet. You have to pay first. |
| Craven | Pay? For what? |
| Nasty | For spoiling an otherwise enjoyable afternoon. Compensation. You know? |
| Craven | We don't have any money. |
| Creighton | Compensation? What are you talking about? |
| Angry | (harshly) For making us look at your gangly human bodies you ugly brute. |
| Murderous | Yes, you can't pass without paying the fine. So pay up. |
| Keldirk | Are you deaf or just plain stupid? We don't have any money. |
| Creighton | (under his breath) No, Deaf and Stupid are still back at the camp. |
| Azareth | (chuckles at Creighton's bad humour) We are more than happy to return and pay our dues when we do get some money. If you let us pass now we shall return in a day or two to settle our debt. |
| Quick | (snorts) A likely story. |
| Nasty | You humans are all the same. |
| Notorious | Ugly, stupid and cheap. |
| Keldirk | (glares malevolently at the group of dwarves) |
| Azareth | It appears we are at an impasse. We intend to proceed to the village of Hamlynn. Now, you can either let us pass or try and stop us; may I inquire as to your intentions? |
| Creighton | (casually lifts his heavy club over his shoulder) Yeah, all this talk is boring me. |
| Nasty | We'll stop you. |
| Angry | Definitely. |
| Murderous | (steps forward) We'll kill you. |
| Creighton | You and what army? |
| Murderous | (calmly) Just us. |
| Angry | Last chance. Pay up! |
| Notorious | If you had heard of me you wouldn't be so bold. |
| Craven | Is that right? |
| Notorious | (nods, a wicked gleam in his eye) |
Creighton decided that there had been enough talking and launched into attack. He brought his club down hard and smashed Angry in the side of the face, crushing an eye- socket and knocking the dwarf out. Craven raised his club quickly, catching Notorious under the chin, sending the dwarf spinning backwards to land senseless, face down in the dust.
Two dwarves charged at Keldirk. He didn't know their names - he couldn't remember which was which - and he didn't care. He kicked one hard in the stomach and stepped aside to let the other past before clobbering him on the back of the head with his club.
One dwarf moved quickly towards Azareth, grappling him and knocking the mage over. The pair were soon rolling around in the dust and within seconds the strong dwarf had his stubby fingers wrapped around Azareth's throat.
Craven and Creighton made short work of the last two dwarves, subduing them with ease while Keldirk cracked the skull of the dwarf who was strangling Azareth. As the dust settled seven dwarves lay in the dirt, bleeding, unconscious or worse. Azareth rose to his feet, dusted himself down and rubbed his neck.
| Azareth | (to Keldirk) Thanks. |
| Keldirk | (nods) |
| Craven | That was easier than I thought it would be. Is anyone hurt? No? Good. |
| Creighton | (kicks one of the dwarves solidly) Stupid idiots. What were they thinking? They didn't have weapons? Weird. |
| Craven | Maybe normal folk don't stand up to them so they don't need weapons. |
| Keldirk | (spies a dwarf struggling to rise and casually moves over and cracks in its skull) Then I suppose we've done our good deed for the day. Making the roads safe for the common man. We should get medals. (laughs) |
| Craven | (chuckles) Let's finish them and drag them off the road. There might be more of the little bastards around. |
Before long the assassins had the seven dead dwarves hidden in the bushes and were back on the road. A few hours later they reached the village of Hamlynn.
| Normal Text | Character's words or descriptive text if part of a paragraph |
| Italic Text | Character's thoughts or actions if surrounded by parenthesis |
| Bold Text | Character is shouting. |