Episode 65 – The Wolf, the Witch and the Large Wardrobe (Part IV)
| The Assassins |
Azareth - Wizard 5th Level LE (PC) Craven - Fighter / Rogue 3rd / 3rd LE (PC) Creighton - Fighter 5th Level LE (PC) Keldirk - Rogue 6th level NE (PC) |
| Locale | Unknown. |
| Date | Sometime after 4th Goodmonth 582 CY |
| Time | Midday. |
The chimney smoke of Hamlynn wafted lazily into the air and for the first time since the assassins arrived in town there seemed a peaceful air about the place. People went about their business with a slight spring in their step; their sense of despair diminished somewhat despite the dark, heavy clouds that had rolled in from the distant mountains. On any other day those clouds would have added menace to the already ominous red sky, but not today, for the Overseer was dead and The Silver League had agreed to rescue the town's children from the cruel Overlord.
Somewhere, far away, thunder boomed.
The assassins sat in their room in Hamlynn's only tavern and tried not to fidget. After killing the Overseer, Keldirk and the others had searched the Overseer's lair thoroughly. They had managed to find sufficient equipment to give themselves a realistic chance of retrieving Hamlynn's children from their captor. With swords, armour, provisions and even a few magical scrolls, the group began to feel more like their old selves. They were anxious to get moving, but the way forward was uncertain as the pouch containing the so- called keys turned out to hold nothing but a dozen beans.
| Creighton | (peering out the tavern window) I reckon we'll get some rain. |
| Craven | (pacing the room) Where is he? He's late. |
| Azareth | He will be here. (opens the Overseer's pouch and examines the contents) |
| Craven | Leave that goddamned pouch alone, Azareth. They're beans and I doubt they are going to magically transform into something more key-like no matter how often you look at them. |
| Keldirk | (hears footsteps outside the door and rises) |
As if on queue there was a knock at the door. Keldirk, one hand on his dagger, opened the door and allowed Sheriff Downes to enter.
| Keldirk | You took your sweet time. |
| Sheriff Downes | Sorry, there was much to do. How are the Silver League this morning, ready and raring to go? |
| Keldirk | Go? Go where? |
| Craven | We're always ready. |
| Azareth | What did you learn, Sheriff? |
| Sheriff Downes | They're beans alright. |
| Keldirk | We can see that. |
| Sheriff Downes | But not ordinary beans, master Keldirk. Let me explain. A couple of weeks ago a local trapper, by the name of Samuel Poh, was checking his traps when he spied the Overseer plant something. Sam claims he saw the Overseer pour a handful of seeds out of a pouch, a pouch identical to the one Azareth holds in his hand. A few minutes later a massive tree sprouted and the Overseer hitched a ride to the sky. |
| Creighton | You're joking right? |
| Sheriff Downes | 'Tis hard to believe, I agree. But Sammy is a stand-up citizen and I have no reason to doubt what he said. |
| Azareth | This certainly is an unexpected development. |
| Craven | To say the least! |
| Azareth | Sheriff, we will need Mister Poh to show us the exact place where the Overseer planted the beans. Can you arrange that? |
| Sheriff Downes | Not a problem, I'll take care if it straight away. I'll be back shortly. |
| Craven | We'll be ready. |
After the Sheriff left the room Creighton turned to the others.
| Creighton | Doesn't that story sound a little familiar to you? |
| Keldirk | What? |
| Creighton | Ever read Jack and Beanstalk? |
| Keldirk | No. Never was much of a reader. |
| Creighton | Back in Two Trees Auntie Adai used to read to me all the time, especially in my younger years. (laughs) Uncle Bray thought it was a waste of time, of course. He was a crotchety old bastard. There was this one time when Auntie was reading me a story in the barn when Clara the old heifer started making a huge ruckus - |
| Craven | Creighton. Please, stay focussed. What about Jack in the Beanstalk? |
| Creighton | Oh, yeah, sorry. But think about it. So far we have come to a town called Hamlynn, a place where all the children are missing. The town was being terrified by large werewolf - a big bad wolf so to speak. There is a Lord of some description who lives somewhere in the clouds, a place you can only reach by climbing a giant beanstalk. |
| Keldirk | (sarcastically) Is this a long story? |
| Creighton | Okay, add to that the fact that there is a mean old lady who lives in a cottage in the middle of the forest who happens to eat small children. And let's not forget the seven psycho dwarves who attacked us on our way here. Put all that together and what do you get? |
| Craven | What? |
| Creighton | We are trapped in some bizzaro nursery rhyme land. |
| Keldirk | (takes a seat, rubbing his temples) I hate this place. |
| Craven | (snaps his fingers) Well done, Creighton. I had an odd feeling about this place and you've just put your finger on the reason why. Azareth, what do you think? |
| Azareth | Sadly, I had very little time for nursery rhymes when I was a child; my studies never allowed it. So none of these things mean very much of anything to me. |
| Creighton | Well it doesn't really matter 'cos its all been mixed around anyway. I mean the big bad wolf wasn't supposed to be in Hamlynn, the seven dwarves weren't brigands and the beanstalk was the result of some poor cow- trade by a boy called Jack. |
| Craven | Even so, how does this knowledge help us? |
| Creighton | Well, maybe it doesn't. Or maybe it gives us an edge. Like if we know how the heroes in the nursery rhymes defeated the villains then maybe we'll be able to use that information against our enemies. |
| Azareth | You could have something there. |
| Creighton | So I reckon we will find a castle at the top of the beanstalk owned by a giant with a keen sense of smell. Oh, and magical harp and a goose that lays golden eggs. It's all coming back to me now. |
| Keldirk | Well I for one don't want to play anymore. I don't dance for anyone. Now that we have some weapons why don't we just go back to old hag's cottage and teach her who's boss? Stuff this nursery rhyme crap. |
| Craven | I tend to agree. I don't want to be an element in anyone's plot. Let's teach that old witch a lesson. |
| Azareth | Beware, my friends, making a rash decision now could be the death of us. |
| Keldirk | A lot of things could be the death of us, mage. What's your point? |
| Azareth | Unfortunately events have conspired against us. We are reliant upon this old woman to get us home, and that being the case we can ill afford to get her off side. Think about it. If, as she claims, she has the ability to teleport us back home then, under duress, she could just as easily send us somewhere even more dangerous than here. No, I think the best course of action would be to play our part and deliver two children as promised. |
| Keldirk | (snarls) Perhaps you're right. But, mark my words, when I find out who sent us here I'm going to cut off their head and take a crap down their neck. |
| Creighton | (scratches his head) Something doesn't quite fit. |
| Craven | What? |
| Creighton | Well nursery rhymes are usually happy things. What we plan to do - kidnap two children so a wicked old witch can eat them - isn't exactly a good thing to do. (pauses) |
| Craven | Go on. |
| Creighton | Well maybe we are going about this all wrong. Maybe we are supposed to be the heroes, you know, like the heroes in fairy tales. Maybe we should be saving the kids, saving the town and killing the wicked hag. Maybe then whoever brought us here will send us home. |
The assassins were quiet for a time as they considered Creighton's words. Finally Keldirk snorted in disgust at the situation and began to hone the edges of his blades.
| Azareth | I do not believe your hypothesis is correct, Creighton. Think about it for a moment. The only person who wins in this scenario is the witch. The town lose two children, the Lord loses his overseer and the dwarves lose - have lost - their lives. It stands to reason, then, that the maestro of this fairy-tale symphony is the witch. I believe we should make every effort to satisfy her demands for only then do we have some hope of returning home. |
| Keldirk | Well I don't like being played by anyone. |
| Azareth | Your distaste of the situation is noted, master Keldirk, but I fear we have little choice. |
| Craven | Well let's get on with this little charade then. Let's plant those damned beans and see what happens. |
Later that day the assassins, along with Sheriff Downes and Samuel Poh, a gruff unkempt trapper, gathered in a small glade a few miles outside of Hamlynn.
| Craven | So, Sam, you're sure this is the spot? |
| Samuel Poh | Yup, I reckon so. |
Sam poked around in the turf with his boot then squatted down to inspect something in detail. Moments later he motioned for the assassins to gather near.
| Samuel Poh | See here, bean husks. Same colour as those in that there bag of yours. |
| Azareth | Did you notice whether the Overseer used any words of magic as he planted the beans? |
| Samuel Poh | Nup, he was quiet as a field mouse. I was hiding just o'er there behind them shrubs. He went and planted his seeds then stood back. Then the ground opened up and a tree shot up, real quick-like. Bloody amazing, I tells ya. Then he grabbed hold of a branch and whoosh up he went. (shakes his head in disbelief) If I'd a not seen it with me own eyes I'd a never believed it. |
| Craven | Did he come down? |
| Samuel Poh | Eventually I suppose, but I didn't see 'im. Once he was outta sight, I skedaddled back home real fast. |
| Azareth | Thank you for your help Sam You too good Sheriff. You may leave us now. Have no fear; The Silver League will bring back your children. |
Once the Sheriff and the trapper had gone, the assassins prepared themselves as best they could. Azareth dug a small hole and planted the seeds. Craven sprinkled a wineskin of water over the area and the four assassins stood back.
| Creighton | (after a minute) Well, that was a complete waste of- |
Suddenly the earth began to shake and a deep rumbling emanated from beneath the assassins' feet. As soon as it started the rumbling stopped and the assassins waited with baited breath.
Still nothing happened.
| Creighton | Maybe the seeds were duds. |
| Azareth | (kneels down and examines the area) I don't think so. Look. |
The four adventurers gathered closer and witnessed six small sprouts twist and turn their way through the soil.
| Creighton | Quick! Jump on! |
| Keldirk | (looks at the tiny bean-shoots) You've got to be joking. |
| Creighton | Well, duh! |
| Craven | (chuckles) |
| Azareth | Look! |
The bean-shoots were growing faster now, the leaves and stems growing at an accelerated rate. In a matter of seconds the shoots had grown to waist height, a minute later they towered over Creighton and showed no sign of slowing.
| Azareth | I suggest we grab hold now before the pace quickens any further. |
The assassins approached the rapidly growing beanstalk and found solid purchase, allowing the plant to raise them ever higher. Within sixty heartbeats they had cleared even the tallest trees and were afforded a bird's eye view of Hamlynn. Minutes later even the distant mountains were far below them.
The stalk rose ever higher. The movement of the stalk threatened to shake them from their perch and the assassins were forced to grip the growing vine ever tighter, a task made all the more difficult by the increasingly frigid air and bighting wind. Creighton stole a furtive glance upward and saw the roiling black clouds against the blood-red sky. The hulking warrior was disconcerted with the realisation that he was now closer to the clouds than he was to the earth. The sound of the creaking vines and blustery wind all but deafened the four adventurers.
| Azareth | I just realised something. |
| Craven | What? |
| Azareth | I believe I may be afraid of heights. |
| Craven | Just shut your eyes and hang on. |
Almost imperceptibly the stem slowed its ascent. Abruptly the assassins were plunged into the cold, moist darkness of the clouds.
| Azareth | (sensing the change, opens his eyes) I cannot see, I am blind! |
| Craven | Calm down. We're in a cloud. |
In moments they were clear and sunlight dazzled their eyes, and the beanstalk ceased its climb. They had emerged through the cloud and the vista before them was nothing if not astounding. In the distance stood a massive castle, its numerous spires and minarets towered above the cloud's white, fluffy surface. The light of the afternoon sun reflected from the castle's many windows and evoked the impression of a multi-faceted gem resting upon a pillow of silver satin.
A cobblestone path wended its way from the stalk through the cloud and towards the castle. Despite their height and the dampness of their clothes, the assassins were inexplicably warm. Were it not for their predicament they may have sat to enjoy the magical vista and bask in the warming glow of the sun.
| Craven | Keldirk, make sure that path is solid. |
| Keldirk | How do you propose I do that? |
| Craven | Climb down and check it out. |
| Keldirk | Piss off! |
| Craven | Excuse me? |
| Keldirk | Are your legs painted on? You check it out. |
| Craven | You're the closest. |
| Keldirk | (scampers around the stalk and climbs above Creighton) Not anymore. |
| Craven | Fine, Creighton you check it out. |
| Creighton | You're crazy. You check it out. |
Azareth tossed a wineskin onto the path and the four assassins witnessed it land solidly.
| Azareth | I think the path is safe. I have scrutinised the scene for signs of illusion and I have not noticed any anomalies. I believe it is real. |
| Keldirk | Well you be the first to stand on it. |
| Azareth | Happily. The sooner I get off this beanstalk the better. |
With that Azareth climbed down to the level of the path and stepped onto it. His first step was cautious but as soon as he felt the path take his weight he released his grip on the beanstalk with obvious relief. As soon as the others were sure that Azareth was not in danger of falling through the path to his death the assassins all extracted themselves from the beanstalk and joined him on the path.
| Creighton | I guess we follow the path. |
| Craven | I expect so. (rubs his chin) I've been thinking. How the hell are we going to get back down again? I don't relish the thought of climbing down that beanstalk with a couple of frightened children. |
| Azareth | Good point. Creighton how does the beanstalk fairytale end? |
| Creighton | Um, Jack climbs down the stalk and then cuts the beanstalk down. The giant, who was chasing him, falls to his death. |
| Keldirk | Jack climbs down, huh? (whistles) He must've been one super-fit kid. Climbing down would take us hours, if not days. One slip (slides his finger across his throat) would be your last. |
| Creighton | It's a fairytale, numb-nuts. |
| Keldirk | Well this is real life. We're really up here, as much as it pains me to say, and we have a real problem. How the hell are we going to get down? |
| Craven | (shrugs) We could knock the children unconscious, that would make carrying them a little easier. |
| Creighton | Maybe there's some maiden up in one of those towers with really, really, really long hair and she'll let us climb down that. |
| Keldirk | Beanstalk? Hair? Same thing. We're in a world of trouble. |
| Azareth | (on his knees, feeling the cloud beside the path) One thing is for certain, do not leave the path. The cloud is insubstantial and this path appears to be the only thing preventing us from falling. |
| Creighton | (spits over the edge and watches the globule disappear) Cool. |
| Craven | (hitches his backpack) Stuff it. We're up here now and there's no use worrying about exit strategies at this point. Come on, let's go. |
The group made their way along the path that meandered through the cloud realm bringing them ever closer to the massive castle. The journey was monotonous - were it not for the fact that the path was constructed on a cloud that floated several miles above the ground, the walk would have been downright boring. To their left and right the clouds varied from large cumulous mountains to impossibly deep crevasses. But soon even these variances wore thin.
Eventually the assassins rounded a bend only to discover they had run out of cloud. Spanning the distance between their cloud and the next was a long, slightly arched bridge.
| Keldirk | (steps back and pushes Craven forward) You're closest, off you go. |
Resisting the urge to look down, Craven placed a tentative foot on the bridge. Again his footing seemed sound. He signalled to the others and began to cross the span. Before he had taken three steps they all heard the sound of approaching hoof beats.
In moments a knight atop a large warhorse crested the apex of the bridge. The rider reared his horse with a flourish and challenged the group, his deep bass voice booming from beneath the full-face helmet.
| Knight | I am Sir Joustoften, sworn defender of Skyland Bridge. You may not pass unless you defeat me in single combat. |
| Creighton | (quietly) Joustoften? What kind of stupid name is that? |
| Keldirk | (to the knight) There are four of us, genius, how about we just attack you en-masse. |
The knight waved his hand in response to Keldirk's threat and the section of bridge between the assassins and his horse disappeared.
| Knight | As defender of the bridge I have the power to deny crossing to whomsoever I choose. Select your champion and he - and he alone - will be permitted to cross. |
| Creighton | We have no horse. So I guess the duel is off. |
| Knight | (nods) Should you desire a steed, one will be provided for you. |
| Creighton | I was afraid you were going to say that. Nah, never mind, I don't trust horses anyway. If you want to fight on foot then I'm your man. |
| Craven | (hushed) Don't be hasty, Creighton. |
| Azareth | How do we know we can even trust this so called knight? |
| Creighton | What choice do we have... really? |
| Craven | Are you sure you are up for this? That armour he is wearing is pretty impressive. |
| Creighton | All that says to me is that he is insecure and his defence is so full of holes that he needs a suit of steel in order to feel safe. It won't do him any good. (cracks his knuckles and draws his sword) At least that's what I'm hoping. |
| Keldirk | Well, I admire your confidence. (backs away) Go get 'em tiger. |
| Craven | Indeed. Let's hope your bravado is not misplaced. Once you're out there we can't help you. |
| Creighton | Bah, enough talk! (to the knight) I accept your challenge. |
| Knight | You alone may cross. I advise the rest of you to stay off the bridge. If your champion defeats me in single combat your party may continue along the path, until then remain where you are. |
The knight again reared his horse and galloped out of sight.
| Creighton | Wish me luck. |
| Keldirk | Break a leg. |
| Creighton | (laughs) Remind me again why I haven't killed you? |
| Keldirk | Fear? |
| Creighton | You idiot. |
| Craven | Good luck, Creighton, the success of this quest rests solely with you now. |
| Creighton | Gee thanks. |
| Azareth | You will prevail, my friend, you always do. (claps Creighton on the back) |
Creighton strode confidently across the bridge. As he stepped onto the other side the bridge vanished separating the two clouds. Creighton was surprised to see that the knight had removed the bulk of his armour.
| Creighton | Why did you strip down? |
| Knight | We must face each other as equals or honour will not be served. I will not have it said that I have taken unfair advantage. |
| Creighton | (snorts) Whatever you say, brainiac, it's your funeral. |
| Knight | Are you ready? |
| Creighton | Yep |
| Knight | Then let us engage. |
The Knight assumed a fighting stance; knees slightly bent, one leg before the other and his broadsword held firmly in both hands. Creighton mirrored him and the combat was underway.
The swords met twice as the two combatants struggled to position themselves with the sun at their backs. Creighton was forced several paces back and the Knight pressed his advantage. Their blades clashed several times as Creighton tried to fend off the blistering onslaught. The Knight was clearly well trained, his attacks were precise and his defence was disciplined and Creighton barely managed to move aside to keep from being overwhelmed.
The Knight studied Creighton's fighting style; it was almost totally centred on offence, relying heavily on attack with little if any defence. But despite this he was having trouble exposing his opponent and Sir Joustalot realised that he would need to be more aggressive in order to force a mistake. He stepped forward and arced his sword toward Creighton's head, the blow was blocked but it gave the knight the opportunity to deliver a riposte that pierced the gap between Creighton's sword and his shoulder.
Creighton was forced back by the sudden pain in his arm. The cut was not deep but it bled profusely and the hulking warrior could feel the strength slowly slipping away from his arm. He knew that the wound would eventually slow his movements so he had to even up the contest quickly. Creighton stepped back, drawing the knight towards him before striking low. His blade was blocked, but Creighton followed through with the motion and rolled to the ground. Flicking his right leg out with all the force he could muster, Creighton managed to kick his opponent off his feet.
Sir Joustalot fell to the ground even as Creighton regained his footing. Before the knight could stand up Creighton thrust with his blade and pierced his opponent's side. A minor wound in the scheme of things but an important cut in the psychological war. It was one cut each now and ledger was balanced.
After several more exchanges, Sir Joustalot began to assert his control over the fight as Creighton tired visibly. The knight aimed a blow high and Creighton raised his sword to block the blow. But the hulking warrior recognised the knight's feint too late. The knight reversed the direction of the cut and turned it into a sweeping slice at Creighton's now exposed shins. Creighton just managed to leap over the blade as it passed under his guard but was not fast enough to keep the knight's sword from biting into his left ankle. The pain as Creighton landed brought him to one knee. If that wasn't bad enough, the true horror of Creighton's situation dawned on him - the knight was now at his back.
Calmly, Sir Joustalot began a sweeping cut designed to remove the head of his opponent. His sword slashed forward in what he assumed would be the killing blow but he was surprised to find the cut blocked by Creighton's blade. Creighton took a chance that the blow would come from left to right and placed his blade over his head and down along his back all the while praying he had guessed correctly. As their blades met Creighton borrowed the momentum of the blow and turned to face the surprised knight. He continued his flow and swung his sword in a great arc about his body. By the time Creighton's blade reached Sir Joustalot it was moving with incredible speed and force.
With a sickening thud Creighton's sword crashed into the Knight's chest, cutting through leather doublet and bone alike. The knight's features contorted in pain as he tried in vain to scream. Creighton watched as the life flickered from the knight's eyes before kicking the body off the path with his wounded leg. Sir Joustalot disappeared into the cloud as he plummeted lifeless towards the earth. Creighton dropped his sword with a clang, clasped his hand about his ankle and winced in pain.
The fight was over. He had won.
Moments later the bridge reformed and Creighton watched as his companions hurried across the span to join him.
| Craven | Well done! That last move was rather impressive. Hopelessly out of position, down on one knee, sword over your shoulder. Truly inspired. |
| Creighton | (grimacing) Thanks. |
| Craven | You'll have to teach it to me sometime. |
| Creighton | It's easy. Just get yourself in a no-win situation. You'll be surprised what you come up with. |
| Craven | (laughs) |
| Azareth | (withdraws a heavy bandage from his backpack) Here, let me take a look at your ankle. |
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